Letters From Your Friendly Cashier: Inside Out #2

Dear Grumpy McGrumperson,

There are a few instances in life that draw people together.

1. Bonfires of any size. People are mesmerized by fire. It makes them think. It makes them reflect and open up and sing stupid songs together and give each other meaningful looks.

2. Smoking. Bad habit or not, there is a community involved with smoking. I don't do it anymore, but something magical happens when a group of people step outside to inhale poison. They open up to each other and laugh appreciatively at each other's stories. I can't figure it out, but it's true.

3. Laughter. Any kind of group laughter will do. You know, it's the social glue.

4. Crisis. Unfortunately bad things happening draw people together. And I'm not talking about the time Aunt Myrtle's teeth came out in the punch at Cousin Sissy's wedding. Unless they came out because she was choking and Uncle Merv had to perform the Heimlich on her. Then that would be a big enough crisis to bond people.

When working in retail, there is another time people of different backgrounds and temperaments are bonded: dealing with Grumpy McGrumperson. And that's you. I don't know your real name, but everybody knows when you're in the store. Since I'm new at my position, they were nice and gave me fair warning before I came around the corner to assist you.

You wanted the simplest of things: a watch refund and a new battery for your current watch. But alas, the jewelry gal was on break and that's all it took to set forth the noxious fumes of your sour innards. I won't replay our conversation back in detail, but suffice it to say that I felt more than adequate to deal with your antics. When people like you come in, I find it to be a personal challenge to kill you with kindness.

It gave me satisfaction to see the puckered look on your face get even more sour after my calm explanation of breaks being required and calling a manager to take care of you. You didn't expect to get cut off at the pass and that tickles me pink.

All that to say, when I went to my required break and for several days after, fellow employees I don't even know asked how I liked dealing with you. You should be proud! You're notorious! Everyone has to have something to do, I guess. Whatever.

But because of you, we all bonded. There was mutual respect and an overcoming of a barrier. It was awesome.

Thanks. You're a peach.

Your Friendly ex-Cashier