Dear Shoppers,Unfortunately, we have enough disgusting incidents that I've decided to make a whole series of Gross, But True letters. Let's just use these as friendly reminders on the proper and sanitary way to shop.
Gross, But True Fact #1
Leaving poop on the floor might be acceptable behavior for dogs, toddlers, crazy Aunt Myrtle in lock down and maybe citizens of the imaginary planet you come from, but here at The Market, we actually frown upon those who would leave such gifts by the registers.
Gross, But True Fact #2
While it's fun to let your innocent wee ones try on the bloody, drooling faces of evil in the Halloween mask aisle, please remember that the masks aren't just hiding their precious faces. No, they are also hiding germs. It astounds me that, especially now with the rampant flu viruses plaguing everyone, that you all would put these against your pie holes. But it astounds me even more that you allow your sick children to cough into them and leave nice presents for all the other stupid heads trying these on.
Sure, complain that we need wipes at the doors to disinfect the carts. Raise hell that a cashier coughed all through your transaction. But hey! It's Halloween and we're going to cough into the bloody troll face so everyone can catch the swine flu that we don't know we have yet! Joy!
Gross, But True Fact #3
If you get something from your body on the back of the toilet seat, for the love of Mike, wipe it off. I have nothing witty to say about such things because it is beyond gross.
Keep it clean,
The Friendly ex-Cashier
Posts
3 comments:
By the registers? That is beyond gross.
ummm...poo by the registers? I don't even know how that would happen. uck.
The poop was gross but true. Trust me, I had the "pleasure" of cleaning it up. :-(
Post a Comment